


Voldy the Pooh - Stuck at the Malfoy's Manor

by emeebee



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Winnie-the-Pooh - All Media Types
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-04
Updated: 2016-07-04
Packaged: 2018-07-21 14:49:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 364
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7391566
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/emeebee/pseuds/emeebee
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>We've had many an adventure in the Harry Potter universe but today I would like to share with you just one of perhaps dubious origin. It may not be of J.K. Rowling's canon so I'll ask you to keep an open mind.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Voldy the Pooh - Stuck at the Malfoy's Manor

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ladylovebacken](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ladylovebacken/gifts).



One day after the events in the graveyard during the tri-wizard tournament, Voldemort had lunch at Malfoy Manor. Having a new body, he rediscovered all the joys found in the rich and vibrant flavor profiles that existed beyond that of unicorn blood. And so he ate, and ate, and ate, and ate, and ate.  


Upon the end of the meeting with his Death Eaters, he stood to make his leave. He wobbled and waddled a bit under the weight of so much good food and spun to disapparate (right in the Malfoy's dining room, how rude). However, the girth of his gut threw off his balance and instead he punched right through the wall to the great room!  


He wiggled his now sizable derrière. STUCK! The Dark Lord stuck in the wall of the home of a Death Eater!  


"Help me, you fools," he growled.  


But though the Death Eaters huffed and puffed, Voldemort could not be budged.  


And so it was from this position that he ordered around his minions for the next few days.  


Nearly a week later, Draco had sat down for his new favorite pastime - decorating the newest wall art, when he happened to push too hard on Voldemort's bum with a marker causing his drawing of one of the manor's perfect peacocks a terrible disfiguration (the drawing was of his favorite peacock, in fact, named Cletus, and Cletus was certainly not disfigured) resulting in Voldemort being shoved forward a smidgen!  


Immediately, Voldemort called for Lucius and jabbed his wand into Lucius's dark mark, summoning the others. So Snape and Bellatrix and Yaxley all pulled from one side while Lucius and Draco pushed from the other.  


And lo and behold, with a heave and a ho Voldemort was free!  


Also sprawling on the dusty carpet of the great room. But free all the same.  


When he stood, he found that the Malfoy's new house elf, Soots, had cushioned his fall with a tray of sweet rolls. With a wave of his wand they were restored, and Voldemort sank to the ground, enraptured in sticky buns, and stuck in a very different sort of manner. 

But not entirely displeased about it.

**Author's Note:**

> This story was inspired by a conversation with a friend which led to the un-ignorable image of Voldemort stuck in a wall with Draco doodling idly on the Dark Lord’s butt. The conversation and this story were very much influenced by Winnie the Pooh - particularly the Mini Adventures of Winnie the Pooh: Stuck at Rabbit’s House which can be found on YouTube if you would like to experience that for yourself.


End file.
